Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Are You Getting Mixed Signals?
Are you seeing someone new and getting concerned because your new squeeze is hot and cold? Experts weigh in to help decode perplexing behaviors …
Let's be honest: Dating is full of uncertainty. In fact, that's what makes it exciting (albeit occasionally disappointing). It's the waiting to see if someone will call—or fall for you, for that matter. Sometimes, though, the signals can get a little too confusing. And, that situation can be worse than a brush-off, since you're not sure whether to hang on or let go. To help you through those tricky times, we asked relationship experts to decipher daters' most contradictory moves so you know what's really going on…and what to do.
Mixed signal #1: He says he wants to be exclusive but refuses to introduce you as his girlfriend.
It's clichéd but true: "Actions speak louder than words," says Patti Feinstein, a national dating coach. "If he isn't referring to you as his girlfriend, odds are you're not. It's that simple." Still, there are exceptions. He may just not like the word "girlfriend," which can seem very junior high, especially if either of you has been married before. And if he introduces you only by name — simply saying, "This is Lisa," with no qualifier attached — then there's a solid chance that he's already told people so much about you that there's no need to attach a title. The only way to know for sure is to ask for clarification, especially if he was the one to bring up the whole "exclusive" thing in the first place. "Make it light," she advises. "Just say, ‘I'm confused about something—you said we were exclusive. What does that mean to you?'" Pay attention to what he says, but even closer attention to how he says it: Is he comfortable saying "Of course you're my girlfriend!" or does he react like a caged animal? Either way, his reaction will tell you plenty about where you stand.
Mixed signal #2: She says she just wants to be friends and then kisses you.
"This usually means that she wants to take it at her own pace," says David Steele, author of Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World. "Guys usually push for things to move fast physically, and this is a way for a woman to slow things down by saying you are ‘just friends' until she is sure that she is interested in this relationship." The kiss lets her test the waters. Some women, however, may be looking for a "friend with benefits"—which is fine if you're up for that, but trickier if you want to date her seriously. "Your best bet is to gauge how she acts over the next week after the kiss," says Feinstein. "If she's cool and distant, then it was a one-time thing. But if she's acting warmly towards you, then it's usually a sign that she wants you to make more moves."
Mixed signal #3: He asks for your number but never calls.
No matter how much the hottie at the bar flirted with you last night, it's best to assume that he won't call. "Asking for your number is not a promise to call," explains Steele. "People like keeping their options open, so they ask for a number now and think about whether to call later." Don't worry, your instincts weren't deceiving you—chances are, he really was having a good time with you when he asked for your digits. But as time passed, he may have come to the realization that you're not quite his type, met someone else, felt too insecure to phone you—or maybe he bumped into his ex and decided to give it another try with her. No matter the reason — which you'll probably never know, anyway — your best bet is to move on. The worst thing you can do is hunt him down, says Steele. "If he was interested, he would have called," he says. "It's time to move on."
Mixed signal #4: She always says yes when you ask her out—as long as it's on a weeknight.
"If you've just started seeing her, then this isn't that out of line," says Steele. "You don't want to jump into a relationship where all of a sudden it's assumed that you're spending the weekends together." But as soon as things start getting more serious — or if you're already exclusive and suddenly she's busy every Saturday night — it's time to ask her who she's saving that prime date night for. "Don't start speculating—it could be that she has to work on the weekend or maybe she's helping a friend or relative through a rough patch," says Steele. If it turns out that she has a different guy for every night of the week and you're Mr. Tuesday, then you need to move on and find someone interested in being only with you.
Mixed signal #5: He's always complimenting you and taking you on lots of "dates," but he doesn't even try to kiss you on the lips.
Let's get something straight: Most guys aren't interested in being just friends. If he's whispering lots of sweet nothings and treating you to nice dinners or fun outings, then he's into you—but he's scared that you don't feel the same. "Lots of guys are so afraid of rejection that they can't make that first move," says Feinstein. It'll be up to you to get the ball rolling, she says. "You may think that your interest in him is obvious, but you'll need to send some unambiguous clues that you want things to get physical," she says. So try going for a kiss yourself, or, if that's not your style, try some subtle moves: holding his hand, standing or sitting a wee bit closer to him than normal, or (here's the clincher) letting your eyes linger on his lips while he's talking to you. All clear signs that you're saying, kiss me you fool!
By Amanda May
Amanda May is a Brooklyn, NY-based writer who's contributed to Redbook and other publications.
Let's be honest: Dating is full of uncertainty. In fact, that's what makes it exciting (albeit occasionally disappointing). It's the waiting to see if someone will call—or fall for you, for that matter. Sometimes, though, the signals can get a little too confusing. And, that situation can be worse than a brush-off, since you're not sure whether to hang on or let go. To help you through those tricky times, we asked relationship experts to decipher daters' most contradictory moves so you know what's really going on…and what to do.
Mixed signal #1: He says he wants to be exclusive but refuses to introduce you as his girlfriend.
It's clichéd but true: "Actions speak louder than words," says Patti Feinstein, a national dating coach. "If he isn't referring to you as his girlfriend, odds are you're not. It's that simple." Still, there are exceptions. He may just not like the word "girlfriend," which can seem very junior high, especially if either of you has been married before. And if he introduces you only by name — simply saying, "This is Lisa," with no qualifier attached — then there's a solid chance that he's already told people so much about you that there's no need to attach a title. The only way to know for sure is to ask for clarification, especially if he was the one to bring up the whole "exclusive" thing in the first place. "Make it light," she advises. "Just say, ‘I'm confused about something—you said we were exclusive. What does that mean to you?'" Pay attention to what he says, but even closer attention to how he says it: Is he comfortable saying "Of course you're my girlfriend!" or does he react like a caged animal? Either way, his reaction will tell you plenty about where you stand.
Mixed signal #2: She says she just wants to be friends and then kisses you.
"This usually means that she wants to take it at her own pace," says David Steele, author of Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World. "Guys usually push for things to move fast physically, and this is a way for a woman to slow things down by saying you are ‘just friends' until she is sure that she is interested in this relationship." The kiss lets her test the waters. Some women, however, may be looking for a "friend with benefits"—which is fine if you're up for that, but trickier if you want to date her seriously. "Your best bet is to gauge how she acts over the next week after the kiss," says Feinstein. "If she's cool and distant, then it was a one-time thing. But if she's acting warmly towards you, then it's usually a sign that she wants you to make more moves."
Mixed signal #3: He asks for your number but never calls.
No matter how much the hottie at the bar flirted with you last night, it's best to assume that he won't call. "Asking for your number is not a promise to call," explains Steele. "People like keeping their options open, so they ask for a number now and think about whether to call later." Don't worry, your instincts weren't deceiving you—chances are, he really was having a good time with you when he asked for your digits. But as time passed, he may have come to the realization that you're not quite his type, met someone else, felt too insecure to phone you—or maybe he bumped into his ex and decided to give it another try with her. No matter the reason — which you'll probably never know, anyway — your best bet is to move on. The worst thing you can do is hunt him down, says Steele. "If he was interested, he would have called," he says. "It's time to move on."
Mixed signal #4: She always says yes when you ask her out—as long as it's on a weeknight.
"If you've just started seeing her, then this isn't that out of line," says Steele. "You don't want to jump into a relationship where all of a sudden it's assumed that you're spending the weekends together." But as soon as things start getting more serious — or if you're already exclusive and suddenly she's busy every Saturday night — it's time to ask her who she's saving that prime date night for. "Don't start speculating—it could be that she has to work on the weekend or maybe she's helping a friend or relative through a rough patch," says Steele. If it turns out that she has a different guy for every night of the week and you're Mr. Tuesday, then you need to move on and find someone interested in being only with you.
Mixed signal #5: He's always complimenting you and taking you on lots of "dates," but he doesn't even try to kiss you on the lips.
Let's get something straight: Most guys aren't interested in being just friends. If he's whispering lots of sweet nothings and treating you to nice dinners or fun outings, then he's into you—but he's scared that you don't feel the same. "Lots of guys are so afraid of rejection that they can't make that first move," says Feinstein. It'll be up to you to get the ball rolling, she says. "You may think that your interest in him is obvious, but you'll need to send some unambiguous clues that you want things to get physical," she says. So try going for a kiss yourself, or, if that's not your style, try some subtle moves: holding his hand, standing or sitting a wee bit closer to him than normal, or (here's the clincher) letting your eyes linger on his lips while he's talking to you. All clear signs that you're saying, kiss me you fool!
By Amanda May
Amanda May is a Brooklyn, NY-based writer who's contributed to Redbook and other publications.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Are "Should" and "Ought" Blocking Your Path to Love?
By: Kathryn Lord
Have you heard yourself saying things like "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" or "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me"? Or how about "We should have... (fill in the blank: the same sense of humor, a similar background, or compatible taste in furniture)"?
I find that lots of singles have rules that guide their love life. Some rules make good sense (like only dating people who are really single and available, economically stable, and live within the law). But many rules are unrealistic, harsh, or based on romantic myths. Then these singles end up comparing their dates with their guidelines, sensible or not, and making life decisions that have enormous consequences.
I am a romance coach, but I have also been a psychotherapist for over 30 years. I learned long ago to listen carefully to the language my clients use when they talk about themselves and their lives. In particular, I'd watch for the words "should" and "ought."
What's wrong with 'should' and 'ought'
While exceedingly and commonly used, "should" and "ought" could easily be eliminated from our vocabulary. At the very least, we would all feel a lot better. Should and ought are guilt-producing words: "I should spend more time with my mother," "I really ought to lose some weight." The sayer doesn't really intend to do what he is shoulding or oughting. If so, he'd say, "I will spend more time with Mom," or "I'm going to start dieting today."
Shoulding and oughting are like giving yourself a lash on the back: You are punishing yourself with your "I should" or "I ought" statements. Your guilt is eased with your punishment, making it possible to go on with your life, while never following through with what you said you should or ought to do.
In the case of love, shoulds and oughts give us a way out when we need it, just like being picky. Looking for love is loaded with anxiety: "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I find out I don't really love her?" "What if he finds out about (you fill in the blank)?" When your anxiety screams for relief, pulling out a good old should or ought can provide your escape hatch.
Top 'shoulds' and 'oughts': Road blocks to love
Let's look at some common shoulds and oughts more closely, so that we can see the errors in thinking:
1. "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love." Odd as it may sound, some people never feel the intoxicating sensations we think of as "being in love." The ability to fall in love is on a continuum:Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do. Most of us are somewhere in between. Those people who never "fall in love" are still quite capable of loving and forming relationships. If you find yourself waiting for the "in love" sensation which never comes, the "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" could keep you permanently single.
2. "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me." Really? How? Of course there are better or worse choices, but assuming that your date meets your criteria of "good person" and the two of you enjoy each other, seem compatible, and don't irritate the heck out of each other, what more do you need? This "should" may be connected to your "falling in love" ability: If you are able to "fall in love," that biochemical process (it's like being drunk or high) helps surge you forward into a permanent relationship and over any questions or doubts.
3. "We should share the same ... (fill in the blank)." Why? One of the wonderful parts about finding a life partner is all the things that he or she knows and you don't, or is and you are not. Think of what you can learn from the differences. Or what you won't have to learn because your partner already knows.
Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you? You may be pretty terrific, but how boring would it be to be married to your carbon copy!
So pay attention to your inner thoughts about love and your dates. If "should" or "ought" crop up in your thinking, take note and challenge yourself. You may have set up a condition that is road-blocking your search for love.
P.S. If worrying about a new partner discovering some secret of yours is keeping you from pursuing love, find out how to deal with your worst in my article "Do You Have a Secret? How to Tell Your Sweetheart Your Worst." I'll send it when you subscribe to my free email newsletter at Find-A-Sweetheart.com.
Have you heard yourself saying things like "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" or "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me"? Or how about "We should have... (fill in the blank: the same sense of humor, a similar background, or compatible taste in furniture)"?I find that lots of singles have rules that guide their love life. Some rules make good sense (like only dating people who are really single and available, economically stable, and live within the law). But many rules are unrealistic, harsh, or based on romantic myths. Then these singles end up comparing their dates with their guidelines, sensible or not, and making life decisions that have enormous consequences.
I am a romance coach, but I have also been a psychotherapist for over 30 years. I learned long ago to listen carefully to the language my clients use when they talk about themselves and their lives. In particular, I'd watch for the words "should" and "ought."
What's wrong with 'should' and 'ought'
While exceedingly and commonly used, "should" and "ought" could easily be eliminated from our vocabulary. At the very least, we would all feel a lot better. Should and ought are guilt-producing words: "I should spend more time with my mother," "I really ought to lose some weight." The sayer doesn't really intend to do what he is shoulding or oughting. If so, he'd say, "I will spend more time with Mom," or "I'm going to start dieting today."
Shoulding and oughting are like giving yourself a lash on the back: You are punishing yourself with your "I should" or "I ought" statements. Your guilt is eased with your punishment, making it possible to go on with your life, while never following through with what you said you should or ought to do.
In the case of love, shoulds and oughts give us a way out when we need it, just like being picky. Looking for love is loaded with anxiety: "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I find out I don't really love her?" "What if he finds out about (you fill in the blank)?" When your anxiety screams for relief, pulling out a good old should or ought can provide your escape hatch.
Top 'shoulds' and 'oughts': Road blocks to love
Let's look at some common shoulds and oughts more closely, so that we can see the errors in thinking:
1. "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love." Odd as it may sound, some people never feel the intoxicating sensations we think of as "being in love." The ability to fall in love is on a continuum:Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do. Most of us are somewhere in between. Those people who never "fall in love" are still quite capable of loving and forming relationships. If you find yourself waiting for the "in love" sensation which never comes, the "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" could keep you permanently single.
2. "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me." Really? How? Of course there are better or worse choices, but assuming that your date meets your criteria of "good person" and the two of you enjoy each other, seem compatible, and don't irritate the heck out of each other, what more do you need? This "should" may be connected to your "falling in love" ability: If you are able to "fall in love," that biochemical process (it's like being drunk or high) helps surge you forward into a permanent relationship and over any questions or doubts.
3. "We should share the same ... (fill in the blank)." Why? One of the wonderful parts about finding a life partner is all the things that he or she knows and you don't, or is and you are not. Think of what you can learn from the differences. Or what you won't have to learn because your partner already knows.
Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you? You may be pretty terrific, but how boring would it be to be married to your carbon copy!
So pay attention to your inner thoughts about love and your dates. If "should" or "ought" crop up in your thinking, take note and challenge yourself. You may have set up a condition that is road-blocking your search for love.
P.S. If worrying about a new partner discovering some secret of yours is keeping you from pursuing love, find out how to deal with your worst in my article "Do You Have a Secret? How to Tell Your Sweetheart Your Worst." I'll send it when you subscribe to my free email newsletter at Find-A-Sweetheart.com.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Have you ever fallen in love with two persons at the same time?
Hmmm…? Have you ever fallen in love with two persons at the same time? I should suppose your answer is a yes?
Well, there is definitely nothing wrong with that. What to say, we are human afterall, creature of great emotions. There is no way we can stop that very love chemical from producing and pumping within us. It is just very natural for one to develop a liking for another opposite sex especially when they are just physically attractive in appearance too. And not to mention that when the both are also getting along very well with one another?
In our interactions with one another, there just couldn’t be only one but many of also others opposite sex whom we would meet. And very often, we would just develop a liking for some of them, sometimes even more than just two.
That is life. Life is just full of choices.
But then again, what is the meaning of choice? Very simple, it means having to make a decision over which to choose and in this case whom to be choosing, choosing the one whom you are going to love.
Yup, there is nothing wrong with fallen in love with more than one person as long as at the end of the day, you make your choice. And to be able to truly experience some real love, you have to.
Yes, it is only when you are physically into a real relationship will you be able to then acquire and truly experience that real joyfulness and sweetness of being in love. If you never give yourself that chance to be in one, you will just never feel it.
Even a child understands this. Recall your childhood. I should believe that you have experienced wanting just everything when you were at the toy store. Everything just seem so fascinating to you then, wasn’t it? So you cried and bet for your mum and dad to buy them for you. And very often, you are only given the choice of choosing only one. But you refused the offer and continue to cry hoping you would be able to just get everything. And what happened in the end? You ended up with nothing at all. So you grown smarter choosing only one the next time, successfully getting what you want and eventually get to enjoy playing with your new toy, having lot of funs with it didn’t you?
Well, we can’t of course deny that facts that some lucky kids may get more than just one of what they beg for. But at the end of the day, of the toys they have got, he or she would eventually like one of them best, isn’t it? Hmmm…? Still remember what was your favorite toy?
If as a kid back then, you were able to make that decision over which toys to choose, why is it you can’t now? Not able to make up your mind over whom to choose.
Think about it. You certainly want to be able to experience some great and just fantastic love, don’t you? Then you have to just be like a smart kid, cleverly knowing how to be getting his or her toys.
Remember, you can’t have the best of the both worlds and that is for sure. Just like choosing your toys, you have to make that decision over whom to choose and only then will you have the chance to get to enjoy that wonderfulness of being in love. Hmmm…? Didn’t you just forget about the other toys at the toy store while enjoying yourself playing with that new toy you have chosen for yourself?
Believe me, things may seem great and wonderful at first having the companionship of more than just one. But it is just all of a short-term happiness. At the end of the day, the one losing out is going to be only you yourself. You will just probably end up with nothing at all, back to loneliness just once again. This is what our many friends at our forum have feedback.
Nonetheless, a genuine true love is what I believe you are seeking?
If you are not able to control your feeling well, you may unknowingly found yourself falling into the region of lust, hurting someone whom may very possibly be liking you too. I am sure this is something you wouldn’t want, right?
Now, follow where your heart goes. Between the both, there will definitely be one whom you will like more. Just give yourself some time… And when you found that answer, all the correct actions would just very naturally follow; you will just know what you have to be doing. In life, it is only when your goal or objective is clear will you know where to be heading and moving on.
Be it the path of life or love, I am sure you don’t want to be lost and stuck, not knowing where to go?
Remember, the longer you drag things, the worse will the situation become. And in the end, you might not only be hurting those who truly love you but also yourself too.
When you have to choose, you just have to. Having choices is always better than having none at all, isn’t it? Now, not many may be as fortunate as you. So, don’t lose that chance when you have it.
Work things the smart way. Learn to cherish what you have…
Source: loveletterbox.com
Well, there is definitely nothing wrong with that. What to say, we are human afterall, creature of great emotions. There is no way we can stop that very love chemical from producing and pumping within us. It is just very natural for one to develop a liking for another opposite sex especially when they are just physically attractive in appearance too. And not to mention that when the both are also getting along very well with one another?
In our interactions with one another, there just couldn’t be only one but many of also others opposite sex whom we would meet. And very often, we would just develop a liking for some of them, sometimes even more than just two.
That is life. Life is just full of choices.
But then again, what is the meaning of choice? Very simple, it means having to make a decision over which to choose and in this case whom to be choosing, choosing the one whom you are going to love.
Yup, there is nothing wrong with fallen in love with more than one person as long as at the end of the day, you make your choice. And to be able to truly experience some real love, you have to.
Yes, it is only when you are physically into a real relationship will you be able to then acquire and truly experience that real joyfulness and sweetness of being in love. If you never give yourself that chance to be in one, you will just never feel it.
Even a child understands this. Recall your childhood. I should believe that you have experienced wanting just everything when you were at the toy store. Everything just seem so fascinating to you then, wasn’t it? So you cried and bet for your mum and dad to buy them for you. And very often, you are only given the choice of choosing only one. But you refused the offer and continue to cry hoping you would be able to just get everything. And what happened in the end? You ended up with nothing at all. So you grown smarter choosing only one the next time, successfully getting what you want and eventually get to enjoy playing with your new toy, having lot of funs with it didn’t you?
Well, we can’t of course deny that facts that some lucky kids may get more than just one of what they beg for. But at the end of the day, of the toys they have got, he or she would eventually like one of them best, isn’t it? Hmmm…? Still remember what was your favorite toy?
If as a kid back then, you were able to make that decision over which toys to choose, why is it you can’t now? Not able to make up your mind over whom to choose.
Think about it. You certainly want to be able to experience some great and just fantastic love, don’t you? Then you have to just be like a smart kid, cleverly knowing how to be getting his or her toys.
Remember, you can’t have the best of the both worlds and that is for sure. Just like choosing your toys, you have to make that decision over whom to choose and only then will you have the chance to get to enjoy that wonderfulness of being in love. Hmmm…? Didn’t you just forget about the other toys at the toy store while enjoying yourself playing with that new toy you have chosen for yourself?
Believe me, things may seem great and wonderful at first having the companionship of more than just one. But it is just all of a short-term happiness. At the end of the day, the one losing out is going to be only you yourself. You will just probably end up with nothing at all, back to loneliness just once again. This is what our many friends at our forum have feedback.
Nonetheless, a genuine true love is what I believe you are seeking?
If you are not able to control your feeling well, you may unknowingly found yourself falling into the region of lust, hurting someone whom may very possibly be liking you too. I am sure this is something you wouldn’t want, right?
Now, follow where your heart goes. Between the both, there will definitely be one whom you will like more. Just give yourself some time… And when you found that answer, all the correct actions would just very naturally follow; you will just know what you have to be doing. In life, it is only when your goal or objective is clear will you know where to be heading and moving on.
Be it the path of life or love, I am sure you don’t want to be lost and stuck, not knowing where to go?
Remember, the longer you drag things, the worse will the situation become. And in the end, you might not only be hurting those who truly love you but also yourself too.
When you have to choose, you just have to. Having choices is always better than having none at all, isn’t it? Now, not many may be as fortunate as you. So, don’t lose that chance when you have it.
Work things the smart way. Learn to cherish what you have…
Source: loveletterbox.com
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You
By Vlad Karl
Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she's so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is - faint heart, never won fair lady.
The first step in the heart-winning exercise for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.
Let her fall in love gradually. Romance is an important part of falling in love. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was 'Yours Secret Admirer.' The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hallo Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me in the romantic manner.
Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.
A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.
Make the girl feel special; because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.
In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.
Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.
You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?
Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.
The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.
Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.
The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.
I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!
Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she's so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is - faint heart, never won fair lady.
The first step in the heart-winning exercise for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.
Let her fall in love gradually. Romance is an important part of falling in love. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was 'Yours Secret Admirer.' The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hallo Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me in the romantic manner.
Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.
A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.
Make the girl feel special; because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.
In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.
Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.
You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?
Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.
The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.
Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.
The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.
I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
How do you know when you are in love?
When you are in love you will just know it. There is no formula or logic to love. You just feel it in your heart, your mind, and your soul. The feeling is something you can't describe but can arise at any moment, triggered by a memory, a word or a thought of that special person. The difference between a crush/infatuation and real love is that a crush is someone you may forget about during the course of a day/week/month. Someone you may think of a few moments from time-to-time that you can do fun things with such as dates, dinner, and movies. A real love is someone that you cannot live without, someone who is constantly on your mind, day in and day out. It's someone you can't wait to talk to next. Someone who you can't wait to see for whatever reason!
I know I am in love with someone when I cannot control my feelings. When I cannot stop thinking of her -- then I know I feel love. If it is a crush or infatuation, then I know I can shut her off and think of someone else; even plan a date with another for a later time. But, if I cannot do that and do not want to see anyone else, continue to think of her all day into the night, look forward to seeing her again and put aside all others, I am in love. It has been wonderful when I have felt that way. I have had many a crush, but have been in love only a few times to the point of forsaking all others, including friends, to be with her.
I know I am in love with someone when I cannot control my feelings. When I cannot stop thinking of her -- then I know I feel love. If it is a crush or infatuation, then I know I can shut her off and think of someone else; even plan a date with another for a later time. But, if I cannot do that and do not want to see anyone else, continue to think of her all day into the night, look forward to seeing her again and put aside all others, I am in love. It has been wonderful when I have felt that way. I have had many a crush, but have been in love only a few times to the point of forsaking all others, including friends, to be with her.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
What is Love? How Do You Know If You Have Found The Right Person?
By Tony Tate
What is love? Is it something you can feel? How do people know if they have found the person they could spend the rest of their lives with? It would be easier to know if we've found this person if we could know what love is.
Initially when we meet someone we like there is probably something physical attracting us. We may feel attracted. Then if all goes well - you go out, have a good time, and find you want to spend more time with one another - you may begin to have more feelings for one another. But is this love? Time is the answer to all of these questions and the tester of the relationship.
Keep sex out of the mix. When sex becomes part of the equation things become confusing fairly quickly. Sex is a strong and powerful gift that should only be used in marriage to become more intimate - more intimate than you could without it. Outside of marriage it only serves to destroy any chance of truly knowing if you have love for someone or, if they have love for you.
If your relationship is based on sex you are on an unstable foundation. If your feelings change so will your desire to have sex, so will your so called feelings of love with this person and, the same is true for them. Sex only works if love is the foundation of a marriage relationship.
Feelings change and this makes it an unstable foundation for a relationship as well. A lot of times feelings change when the bliss of sex has worn off or, the things you can't stand about the other person surfaces with more frequency. Sex will cause you to look past the things you can’t really live with in another person. And when sex fails to work for you, all you have left are all those things that irritate you about your partner.
So what is love? If you can keep sex from coming into the picture the time you spend together can help you find out if you can love the person you're seeing. You will learn what their values are. You will learn what makes them tick and what drives them. You will find out if you could love them through the time you spend together.
What are the interests you share? What things are you passionate about together? Are there things that get on your nerves - drive you crazy? Can you live with those things? Are you driven by the same things they are driven by? Do all these interests that you both share cause you to draw closer or, do they make you want to spend less time together? If after you have seen all there is to see in a person and you are still drawn then you are ready - Ready for what? -To make a decision.
Love is not a feeling or an attraction. It is a decision. In all the things you learn about one another you must weigh whether or not you can live with those things. Are the traits in this person the traits you are looking for in a mate? Do their flaws turn you off to the point that you will choose not to love at some point? Is there enough in them that you like and admire for you to make a decision to love them for the rest of your life? See, love is a verb. It is an action word. It is something you decide to do. It is something you make a commitment to do in good times and bad. In other words you are deciding after everything that you have seen that you can still love the person inside.
From the bible here is a description of love:
(4)Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud (5) or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. (6)It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. (7)Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (8)Love will last forever..(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
You may also see this web to get more information.
What is love? Is it something you can feel? How do people know if they have found the person they could spend the rest of their lives with? It would be easier to know if we've found this person if we could know what love is.
Initially when we meet someone we like there is probably something physical attracting us. We may feel attracted. Then if all goes well - you go out, have a good time, and find you want to spend more time with one another - you may begin to have more feelings for one another. But is this love? Time is the answer to all of these questions and the tester of the relationship.
Keep sex out of the mix. When sex becomes part of the equation things become confusing fairly quickly. Sex is a strong and powerful gift that should only be used in marriage to become more intimate - more intimate than you could without it. Outside of marriage it only serves to destroy any chance of truly knowing if you have love for someone or, if they have love for you.
If your relationship is based on sex you are on an unstable foundation. If your feelings change so will your desire to have sex, so will your so called feelings of love with this person and, the same is true for them. Sex only works if love is the foundation of a marriage relationship.
Feelings change and this makes it an unstable foundation for a relationship as well. A lot of times feelings change when the bliss of sex has worn off or, the things you can't stand about the other person surfaces with more frequency. Sex will cause you to look past the things you can’t really live with in another person. And when sex fails to work for you, all you have left are all those things that irritate you about your partner.
So what is love? If you can keep sex from coming into the picture the time you spend together can help you find out if you can love the person you're seeing. You will learn what their values are. You will learn what makes them tick and what drives them. You will find out if you could love them through the time you spend together.
What are the interests you share? What things are you passionate about together? Are there things that get on your nerves - drive you crazy? Can you live with those things? Are you driven by the same things they are driven by? Do all these interests that you both share cause you to draw closer or, do they make you want to spend less time together? If after you have seen all there is to see in a person and you are still drawn then you are ready - Ready for what? -To make a decision.
Love is not a feeling or an attraction. It is a decision. In all the things you learn about one another you must weigh whether or not you can live with those things. Are the traits in this person the traits you are looking for in a mate? Do their flaws turn you off to the point that you will choose not to love at some point? Is there enough in them that you like and admire for you to make a decision to love them for the rest of your life? See, love is a verb. It is an action word. It is something you decide to do. It is something you make a commitment to do in good times and bad. In other words you are deciding after everything that you have seen that you can still love the person inside.
From the bible here is a description of love:
(4)Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud (5) or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. (6)It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. (7)Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (8)Love will last forever..(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
You may also see this web to get more information.
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